So, I am going to fail at being an almost-daily-blogger because my shoulder has told me to fuck off and I have to go into the doctor tomorrow to have a nice man do unspeakable things to me with sharp things.

I’m super stoked.

It’ll probably be a few days before I will post much on here due to the OH MY FUCKING GOD, OW! factor of this whole business.

The one thing I am genuinely pleased about is that, unlike when I jacked my ankle and spent over two months in a boot and riding a fucking scooter like an asshole (seriously, I was an asshole and often played ice cream man music from my Droid to annoy people at the store) and decided to eat the world, including but not limited to all the starches and sugars on the planet, this injury time around….I’m feeling good (other than the whole oh my fucking god ow thing).

I’m feeling good because my body is feeling good, and I’m not craving a bunch of bullshit I shouldn’t be eating. Why? Because my bod has fully adjusted to this Keto jazz and it knows what makes it happy.

…like when I had a 16 ounce ribeye cooked for me and cut up (I literally cannot use my right arm at all and realized I couldn’t cut my fucking steak) and fed to me by a wonderful human being at 1am. That’s what makes my bod happy.

Fuck a piece of bread, being handfed perfectly cut, well-marbled red meat by a sexy creature is where it’s at.

I’ll check back in when I’m on the mend.

P.S. This post was made possible by the letter V (Vodka and Vicodin).