This is not WebMD. Not that WebMD is good for fuckall beyond convincing you that you have eyelash cancer, but I digress.

I am not offering health advice.

I am not a doctor, though I do have a very nice Slutty Nurse costume.

I AM the holder of a training certificate in Food, Nutrition in Health by an accredited provider of continuing education in the healthcare field which is approved by the California Board of Registered Nursing (no, I’m not a nurse, I merely have the costume).

I am also an asshole, but an asshole who has figured out that this particular way of eating makes her body feel goddamn glorious and burns fat like a motherfucker.

Please go see a doctor – one that doesn’t suck if you can at all help it – before embarking on any  weight loss journey, especially when it involves a drastically different way of fueling your body.

If you have issues, genetically or historically, with too much fat in your arteries (no, not just your bod, you can be fat and still have a healthy heart) or other health issues where a high fat and protein diet may be detrimental to your long-term health, for the love of god, use your brain and find out if you should be doing this or subsisting only on Kale.

It’s common sense.