Hey, you know, sometimes I suck. Don’t we all? I hinted that I was going to do a blog post about the fucking cauliflower pizza crust, and here’s what happened: I totally fucked it up. How? Why? Because I thought I’d be a wise-ass and skip the parchment paper step because I was out of parchment paper. I thought, oh, I’ll just oil the fuck … Continue reading PIZZA FOR YOUR FACE HOLE

I am a huge fan of seafood, ESPECIALLY Dungeness crab. And I am fortunate enough to live in a part of the country where I can literally go to the end of a pier, drop a crab pot, and, when I pull it up?  CRAB FRIENDS. The kind of crabs you’re HAPPY to catch! I am mostly a crab-purist, just cooking, cracking, and dipping the delicious … Continue reading GOT CRABS?

It’s been a busy cooking weekend.  FINALLY a weekend where I can just “relax” (ha!!!) and be a maniac in the kitchen all weekend. For breakfast, I made that delightful smoked salmon and cheesy dill omelet with the horseradish cream sauce and capers…seriously, that’s a new hit in the house. Later for dinner, we were having company over, a delightful man we met when he lost … Continue reading Pig meat, cream, and booze…OH MY!

Ok, so this is something I’ve been wanting to make for a while, and I’m glad I finally did. It’s simple yet fancy-as-fuck.  I was inspired by a smoked salmon and pita platter thing I got at the Seattle Airport at some little cafe a while back while waiting for my flight, which exceeded my expectations.  The thing that tipped it over for me, I … Continue reading Slammin Smoked Salmon in your…mouth.

Holy shit, it’s about time. Shoulder surgery is a bitch. As it turns out? YOU NEED BOTH FUCKING ARMS.  Honestly,  I guess you don’t NEED them…I’d eventually survive if I got one torn off by a chimpanzee, but I’d sure as fuck rather HAVE BOTH ARMS IN WORKING ORDER. So, with that… I am really  not a sweet tooth.  I’m more of a meat tooth, … Continue reading Slutty as Eff Keto Chocoate Cheesecake